Suicide or sadhana…

I’ve been thinking a lot about the recent and sudden death of the Buddhist meditation teacher, mental health advocate, and social activist Michael Stone. His partner recently posted more information about the circumstances surrounding his death. Turns out he had long been struggling with mental health concerns related to bipolar disorder. Initial toxicology report indicates he had opioids in his system. It is no secret that mental health concerns are still surrounded by so much stigma, making those who suffer feel like they have to navigate it all alone, even a mental health advocate and beloved teacher of Michael Stone’s stature. I too have struggled with mental health issues, namely depression and ptsd. It is the reason I moved to India a few years ago, to put myself in the best place to heal myself. Osho says that real transformation is not possible until we are confronted with the choice between suicide or sadhana. (I’m not suggesting Michael Stone killed himself. But I am saying that the deep suffering he was struggling with was clearly a life or death situation.) In the Alchemy of Yoga Osho says, “Only in that moment of crisis is transformation possible… When you are ready to leave the whole life and all its miseries, only then is there a possibility that you may be ready to transform yourself.” I’ve confronted that moment of crisis, more than once. And I’ve been profoundly transformed by it each time. I’ve known far too many others who were not so fortunate to survive their own crisis. I mourn for them and for those who continue to suffer in silence and secrecy thinking they are all alone. You are not alone. You are loved. More than that, you are LOVE itself. Om shanti shanti shanthih…

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